Euro 2012 - Are you watching?

I don't know about you but I just don't get why people like football. It's such an inaccurate game. Ninety-nine percent of the plays end in failure. Now take tennis for example; once a point has started someone is going to win it and someone is going to lose it. Same with a game, a sett, a match. Football, however, sees 22 guys run around a pitch for 90+ minutes and still manufacture a 0-0 draw. I've tried to watch - alone and with friends, at home and in a pub. But I still don't understand the allure of the game.

Am I missing something? Can anyone tell me just what is so interesting about it?

I've never been interested in football.....

.....until now!

I get bored very easily. So having to watch 22 men kick a ball about in what seems to me to be a wholly uncoordinated way bores the heck out of me. I can usually last until half time IF it is a World Cup and IF England is playing. Anything other than that and I'm distraced before the first set piece.

But no longer. I'm hooked. I didn't know football could be so interesting! OK, I'm not talking about that knock about on the pitch, but the intrigue at FIFA. Sepp Blatter seems to be inhabiting a different universe to everyone else. I saw his press conference - the "crisis? what crisis?" one. He should head to Libya and join forces with the only other rather delusional totalitarian who's desparately clinging to power right now.

And to think that this association governs the rules of the game and organises what is credibly the most watched world event, the World Cup. The odd footballer playing away with a model or two pales into insignificance compared to this.

I have no sympathy for the FIFA members - they deserve what is coming to them.

I have no sympathy with professional footballers - they're overpaid prima donna thugs who seem to think that the normal rules of decency and decorum don't apply to them. How wrong they are.

I have sympathy for the 7 year-old child who plays his heart out on the school pitch in the middle of winter and for the proud Mum and Dad who stand there cheering him on. How can the members of FIFA show their faces without shame knowing that they have let down people like that.