OK, this post is likely to not sit well with a lot of people (well most people actually) but here goes....
I don't like children. There, I've said it. It's starts with a mild irritation at older teenagers and ends up as a particular distaste for babies. Now, don't get me wrong, I know kids are necessary and essential and that we're all supposed to have the urge to procreate etc., and I understand this, I really do. But I still dislike children. I don't hate them, I'm just much happier when I'm not around any.
I even more dislike them when I can't escape them. Normally, if there's stroppy kid or a whining baby in the vicinity, I'll move away out of earshot or out of the way of flying food/drink/anything. But when you put babies and aeroplanes together you get a very nasty combination indeed.
That's what happened today - babies and planes.
I was on a 2 hour flight and sat in front of a couple with the BABY FROM HELL. It all started out well enough - said baby was asleep and looked ever so cute. But, of course, that didn't last. As soon as we were strapped into our seats an there was no escape, the cute little baby woke up and became......the BABY FROM HELL!!!!! You guessed it, it yawned, looked around and then started crying. Now I don't mean just your ordinary cry, but a scream so loud it sounded like someone was strangling it. And it continued to scream for the whole two hours of the flight. The parents were helpless. Short of stuffing something in its mouth, there was no stopping the BABY FROM HELL!
What could I do? Nothing of course, absolutely nothing. I sat there and feared for my hearing for two hours.
Why don't planes have "baby friendly sections" (soundproofed) so that us fare paying passengers don't have to suffer an assault on our hearing? Surely there's a way of avoiding one very, very little person ruining two hours out of the lives of many big people?
Babies are lovely, cuddly, cute.....when they belong to someone else and they're asleep. Other than that, they're a bundle of noise and smells which defy human patience (well my patience).
:-)
3 comments:
ha!ha! I had a good laugh reading this because this is almost exactly how I felt a few years ago. That will all change when/if you have your own kid(s). And once you have your own kid(s) it helps you to appreciate the children of others. We were all babies once upon a time, right?! ;-) By the way, there is no such thing as "a baby from hell" as they are all molded and sent from the throneroom of heaven! :-)
hmmmm...I have only felt this way a few times, BUT it has been because I have my own children. I'm on my 4th now due in July. My children have always enjoyed plane rides and have been seriously good and charming. One time we were flying in first class because the extra seat we reserved was given to someone else so our 3 seats went down to 2. When we sat in our seats we were treated so badly by everyone around us, huffing and puffing, dirty looks and snide comments. Our little baby just sat there smiling quietly the whole time...sometimes drinking a bottle or looking at a book. By the end of the flight all but one person actually apologized for their behavior. I often see parents who simply never take their children anywhere, suddenly decide to go on a plane trip and they don't know how to properly prepare for it. Luckily my kids travel everywhere happily and quietly and more professionaly than most adults. They pack their own suitcases and get through security faster than any adult. They know what to bring and what not to. We make sure they have snacks enough for them and anyone else around who might be interested. One mistake I find that parents make is not being ready for the altitude/earpopping that goes on with little babies. If you try to time out their bottle feed during take off then that will cause the baby to swallow and not have the pain associated with the altitude changes and therefore not cry, a pacifier will work as well. If you see a mother/father with a baby and they don't seem to know this little trick - pass it on! I'm sure they will appreciate it as they don't want a crying infant either. It is a simple way you can feel a little more in control of the situation. I always feel bad for other parents who clearly don't travel enough or know all of the little tricks.
aargh - but there is nothing worse than knowing all the tricks and have someone tell you how to help your child when you've done your best but the child still cries!
and one fare paying passenger (Desertman) is paying less than the two fare paying passengers (parents) and the 25% fare paying passenger (infant) / 75% fare paying passenger (child over).... so zero sympathy from a finance point of view.
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